Maori to receive anti-colonialism vaccine
The government has announced it will be trialing a new anti-colonialism vaccine on the nation's indigenous people. 'The results so far have been encouraging' said Heather Whiteguilt, Labour's minister for Racial Division. 'The recipients have almost immediately given up cigarettes, alcohol and fast food and begun speaking in perfect te reo. After receiving the jab some have even developed an ability to carve bones and stalk large flightless birds. It's most exciting.'
There has been much speculation as to how what the media are calling 'super Maori juice' was developed. The minister would not confirm rumours that it was cooked up in a lab by Willie Jackson over a weekend, although she did claim it was a product of 'Maori Science'.
Asked about reported side effects she did acknowledge that some subjects had shown a sudden desire to cook and eat the flesh of their enemies.