NZ begins kindness exports to Taliban
Updated: Sep 21
Finance Minister Grant Robertson has announced that we will begin exporting kindness to the Taliban.
‘New Zealand kindness is some of the best kindness in the world. We know the Taliban is in need of some as they begin to rebuild their country.’
‘I was watching TV reports on Afghanistan with the Prime Minister, ‘she was shocked that we saw bombings murders, rapes and beatings in the street. There was no kindness whatsoever. So she suggested to cabinet we send them some of ours.’
Taliban minister for Infidel relations, Mr Mohamed Mohamed Mohamed, seemed bewildered by the offer. ‘I don’t know of this ‘kindness’ you speak of. We would prefer you send us assault rifles or failing that, twelve year old girls.’
After diplomatic pressure he agreed to accept the offer, stating ‘O.K I’ll try anything once. Maybe it’s like intimate relations with a goat…I didn’t care for it at first, but now my goat shares my bed and my wife sleeps in the barn’. Then he roared with laughter and went off in search of unaccompanied women to horse whip.
Mr Mohamed Mohamed Mohamed relaxing at home.